I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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