I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize