All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
