walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
