Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
