I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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