Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize