you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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