Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
