I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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