Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
