it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize