And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize