Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it because I queefed?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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