so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
