I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
