he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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