Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
