Three words: puerto rican gang bang
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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