I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize