i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
