so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
