Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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