We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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