So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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