I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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