is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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