Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
