How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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