Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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