pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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