we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
