it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
