talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
