I didn't shave. On purpose
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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