but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
