apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I haven't been this sober since birth.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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