Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize