On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
