I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
love makes seman taste better
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Drunk is not a location!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize