Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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