I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
