Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
