He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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