I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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