Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
