I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
