Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
