everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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