My nipple is on Facebook.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
