reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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