My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize