I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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