Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Drake has all the answers
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
