Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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