I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
