quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
