is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
3 2 1 whiskey
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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