after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
