why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
