i just wanna soil my oats bro
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
