Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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