Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
